Living with teenagers

View previous topic View next topic Go down

Living with teenagers

Post  Admin on Sun Aug 08, 2010 11:18 pm

Children are a blessing and precious gift, but there are times when your child some times misbehave, and the understanding between parents and their children are different pages!

If you are able to share your experience or views re this subject, please let us hear from you.
avatar
Admin
Admin

Posts : 58
Join date : 2010-06-16
Location : UK

View user profile http://eow-forum.narutorpg.org

Back to top Go down

Re: Living with teenagers

Post  sarah d on Thu Apr 14, 2011 8:59 pm

I've noticed that it is when my children are at their most argumentative, Mad most irrational, confused most defensive No , that they are struggling to deal with an issue really really big. Sad So now, though the tension still builds up, and I still keep my rules about acceptable and unacceptable behaviour, I stop and imagine them in pain, and while watching them, I notice a glimpse of it in their eye whilst their banging the door more than they should do, or refuting what I say with such a hurtful vengence. I think its a pain of feeling misunderstood, of seeing a scary world that they're old enough to see but not ready to be part of, and of the drudgery that we get used to when we're adults but is suffocating when part of you,however small is still a child.

In Big Momma's House, one of my children's favourite films, there is a scene where a boy who is trying to unsuccessfully catch a firefly is told to take it slow and wait for them to come to you. I find it works with teenagers too - the moment they need your time - drop everything - even if its the supper or ,as is with my girls, a minute before you are finally getting into that comfy bed that you've been waiting to get back into since you woke up. Sleep The trick is to remember all the things that you've wanted to say for weeks and try and drop them in at the right moment!

I have to say it is always tough however many times you go through it - 3 nearly there for me, 2 more to go, God willing! affraid

sorry about the over use of icons - never used them before - they are sooo coool - and i am soooo old.

I remember thinking when I was younger that I would be one of those parents/adults that wouldnt grow old and would understand perfectly youngsters - I have failed miserably but there is no harm in still trying. lol!

sarah d

Posts : 2
Join date : 2010-06-23
Location : leicester

View user profile

Back to top Go down

Re: Living with teenagers

Post  sarah d on Thu Apr 14, 2011 9:01 pm

I've noticed that it is when my children are at their most argumentative, Mad most irrational, confused most defensive No , that they are struggling to deal with an issue really really big. Sad So now, though the tension still builds up, and I still keep my rules about acceptable and unacceptable behaviour, I stop and imagine them in pain, and while watching them, I notice a glimpse of it in their eye whilst their banging the door more than they should do, or refuting what I say with such a hurtful vengence. I think its a pain of feeling misunderstood, of seeing a scary world that they're old enough to see but not ready to be part of, and of the drudgery that we get used to when we're adults but is suffocating when part of you,however small is still a child.

In Big Momma's House, one of my children's favourite films, there is a scene where a boy who is trying to unsuccessfully catch a firefly is told to take it slow and wait for them to come to you. I find it works with teenagers too - the moment they need your time - drop everything - even if its the supper or ,as is with my girls, a minute before you are finally getting into that comfy bed that you've been waiting to get back into since you woke up. Sleep The trick is to remember all the things that you've wanted to say for weeks and try and drop them in at the right moment!

I have to say it is always tough however many times you go through it - 3 nearly there for me, 2 more to go, God willing! affraid

sorry about the over use of icons - never used them before - they are sooo coool - and i am soooo old.

I remember thinking when I was younger that I would be one of those parents/adults that wouldnt grow old and would understand perfectly youngsters - I have failed miserably but there is no harm in still trying. lol!

sarah d

Posts : 2
Join date : 2010-06-23
Location : leicester

View user profile

Back to top Go down

Re: Living with teenagers

Post  Core Purpose on Mon Apr 18, 2011 8:55 pm

I suspect I have been extremely lucky in that my teenager, now 19 and at University, never had a 'grumpy' period. However, I have been very aware of the speed of the change from child to adult and how important it has been to be a source of constancy in his life while all around him is changing. It's been a case of letting go, whilst also being there for him. I take your point, sarah d, they do come to you if you let it happen.

I wonder if sometimes we forget that teenagers are people in their own right and unconsciously load them with our own expectations. As a parent, do we always act in the best interest of the teenager, or (even secretly) in our own interests?!
avatar
Core Purpose

Posts : 13
Join date : 2010-07-10
Location : Rothley, Leicester

View user profile

Back to top Go down

Re: Living with teenagers

Post  Sponsored content


Sponsored content


Back to top Go down

View previous topic View next topic Back to top

- Similar topics

 
Permissions in this forum:
You cannot reply to topics in this forum